Motivation..

Well, if you guys have my Friendster, like years ago, you guys would know that this is not the first time I'm blogging. Yea, and it's been 2 years, or almost 3 years since I last blogged.

I will say that I'm not really good in writing, but I don't think I will care.

What motivates me to blog again?
I would say it's my feelings. I just feel like writing.
Nah, not in a diary where pens and papers are needed. Lazy, i guess.. It's just an excuse :)

About today..
I guess everyone knows that it rained 'splashily' (the rain was extremely heavy okay!) this evening. As usual, I drove from college back to Kajang alone and hell yea, I can barely see the road properly because my windscreen tends to get really blur when it rains. At that time, I was really scared, not only because of driving in the rain, but because of the thunder, lightning, and the puddles of water on the road.

I used the road that I don't usually take. I was thinking of someone then. I was thinking, should I message this person?

Guess what?

I did not. I'm afraid that this person will not reply my message. I'm afraid that this person will hate me, although he/she might already hate me. I'm afraid of this and that, which pulls me back from messaging that person.

I do realise that I'm always afraid of something, whether it's my actions, or words, or what I agree or disagree with or any other thing. I do want to scrape this feelings away. I've been trying and still trying. I never give up on myself.
Yes, sometimes, I do things that I want by myself and all, but it's just not enough.
I wonder...how long more will it take?
I'm already 21..Hmmm..

Kinda emo for first post?
hahah.. Well, i told you, it's my feelings that motivated me.. Stay tuned peeps..