Internship..

I suck at updating don't I? :-P
I'm sorry..

Well, as the title said, I'm going to undergo my internship starting 7th December 2009 till 26th March 2010, and then, I'll complete my degree course.
Then, I'm off to work...

I'm leaving Kajang tomorrrow morning to my placement.
Excited, but nervous as well.
Nervousness overcome excitement I think..

Well, I tried spending my time with my friends and family, but I think it's not enough :)
Especially for Constance and Pei Shi..
I'm not bringing my laptop to the internship place because there's no internet connection in the accommodation there, so, I guess I will only go online from time to time from my hp..

Wish myself good luck and hope that everything's fine..

Take good care of urself peeps..
All the best for those who are still studying..
And I'll miss my friends and family :-)

Love those who I love!! :-D

Coming to an end..

Degree Life..

I'm done with exam..
Thursday was the last day of exam..
Will be having my oral defense on Wednesday though.. Hope I'll do good..

Wednesday will be the day that I'll step out of college..
Four years.. 4 years in Taylor's College..
Got bored of the food there..but..
Will miss the time, will miss the people, will miss the classes..
I'm done with my studies..
But I won't be graduating yet because...
I still have 4 months of internship to go..
I've got my placement already, and training will commence on the 6th Dec, 2009 till 26th March, 2010..
Then, I can go and get my own job..

WOW!!! That's fast!!! It's been 4 years... FOUR YEARS!!! hahahah...
Yea, I will definitely miss the people around me, even the new ones..
I'll miss the fun time we have..

I hope, and wish everyone will be successful in the future, and that we will keep in touch in the future..
All the best to everyone!!

Things to buy and learn or play...

When I get my salary...at least when i have enough salary or savings..

I will get myself an oven..
So that I can bake and do whatever I want..

I NEED OVEN!!!! :-(


When I finish studying..at least when I have free time....(I think I need money here too.. :-S)

I will want to learn how to play FLUTE... and GUITAR.. and DRUM.. and...HARP(this would be in my dream)..
But the first three, yea, I will try.. I want!!

I know this is quite random.. but...


I really want an oven!!
I want to bake!!

:-D

What about my looks?

That day, while chatting with 1 of my classmate (CM):~

CM: Do you have a boyfriend now?
Me: Nope. I'm single, and it's been 3 months already. Why?
CM: You looked different. You looked better now, so I thought you have a boyfriend.
Me: Really? Wow!! And I thought people always said if you're in a relationship, you'll look better. I'm the opposite I guess. I'm different.. hahah.. (Actually, I also don't know how to reply to that)

Well, I was thinking..maybe I didn't have a good relationship when she saw me when I was in a relationship, which was in Sem 1... :-D
I don't think it's the latest relationship that I had though cz that only lasted for 3 weeks...

I feel more free being single now.
But of course, I'm still looking for a relationship, but let's just wait..wait for the right time, and the right person, and I'll try to 'catch' him... hhaha..
Obviously, it's not easy...cz yea, I'm still trying now..it's tiring la actually.. hahaha..

p/s: I bet the stalker that I mentioned in the past few blog is still reading my blog. Let's just hope that I won't receive any call or message ok? I don't have any mood this few days..
I miss someone..someone that I shouldn't miss..but I really do miss him.. :(

Lil' update..

It's been a while since I last blogged.. Yea, I know!!
Well, after arriving in M'sia from France on 25th October, been rushing the whole week to finish up my dissertation which I've been delaying.
The due date for dissertation was 30th October, so yea, been suffering the whole week with panda eyes just to finish it, and some sleepless nights, no lunch, and no dinner too..

The first week of November is our (all degree students) last week of class already. Yea..so soon.. It's been 4 years that I've studied in Taylor's already..
Well, classes was as usual, pictures, fun, craziness...lalalala..
Went karaoke with my classmate on the last day of class, which was Wednesday, then chit chat in Zanmai with some of the girls for 3 hours.
After that, I brought Yuli, Kenita, and Mario to Asia Cafe for dinner and pasar malam too.. (Trying to bring them to OUG's pasar malam and Connaught too if possible, but I don't like Connaught...hmmm)...
Wargh!! Gonna miss all of my classmates so much!!
Final exam is starting on 16th November though.. *nervous!!!*

On Thursday, had Finance replacement class, and right after that, went for dinner with Pei Shi and her Sunway friends. Her friends are really funny that we laughed throughout the dinner. After dinner, we went to watch Poker King ('dou san'), and it was hilarious..laughed a lot. I had fun! :)

P/s: Pictures of France are on my facebook. Took about 2000 pictures, but of course only uploaded about few hundred? hahah..

France Trip..

Today, on 13th October 2009, I, Low Ee Hwa,

IS GOING TO STEP OUT OF MALAYSIA FOR THE FIRST TIME!!..

Yes, it's quite a big deal.. :P

I would want to tell what time the flight is, but I couldn't because I know someone is stalking me, so, yea, don't want to tell the time of departure..

But yea, I'll be flying off to Paris for 12 days with all my other batch mates, from the School of Hospitality & Tourism only..
There will be fun, sightseeing, shopping, and Management Game (exam, 30% of Finance)!!!!!!
Can you believe it? We have exam in France!! How sad..
Well, we'll be going to Foix, Carcassone, Paris..and everywhere else that's possible though :)

Going to Paris is one thing, another main concern of mine is my dissertation.. *sigh*..
Dissertation.. I'm only at literature review now.. which is 2 out of 70 pages? hahahh..

So, I've decided to bring my dissertation along with me to Paris!! 'He's' my lover for the trip since I don't have 1 now..but I have a 'dream..........' (Only Pei Shi will understand this)

Hmmm... France.. First time.. Hmmm...
I don't know what to say..

Well, let's just enjoy France!!

I hope I can online in France so that I can at least upload some pictures for my friends to see it :)

Thanks for the wish from all my friends that I received on Facebook!! :)

Till then, buh bye!!

Courage..

I'm lost..kind of..

I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to feel.

I don't really have the courage for that action again..
Please give me back my courage??, would you??
I did try, and I'm still trying,
And I need to move further, that's why I need you, COURAGE!
But why aren't 'you' here, and where did 'you' go?


Luckily for this moment, I have Pei Shi by my side to accompany and comfort me :)
Thanks Pei Shi..my super best friend, which I often refer as girlfriend..
Constance as well lar :)
It's just that Cons don't know what's happening recently because she's in Melbourne studying... hmmm...

Relationship..

Do I want to get involved in any love relationship again?










I don't know..



Since there's no one,
it doesn't matter.. i guess

"Kan-cheong-ness"

Me, Low Ee Hwa, is super duper damn extremely nervous!!!

I'm nervous because THE RACE finale is starting TOMORROW!!!
Yes, it's tomorrow!!

As mentioned before, I'm one of the team marshals for the finalists, and I have to run around with one of the teams to ensure their safety, and also obeying to the rules and regulations.
Yes, I'll be running whenever they run, walking whenever they walk, sitting whenever they sit as well. Basically, follow them wherever they go. Interesting isn't it?!

OMG!!!! It's tomorrow!!!
Seriously, it's tomorrow!!

Well, got to be at college by 7a.m. though.
Then, THE RACE will flag off at 9.30a.m. and then the finalists got to race among themselves for the whole day until they finish their last task, which might end at night.
They'll be spending the night in one of the hotel in KL along with the team marshals.
And on Saturday, the 2nd round will start off again at 9a.m...

Well of course, the first to finish THE RACE will win the RM4,000 prize lar..

It's starting tomorrow!!!
Mixed feelings are all over me..
Gotta keep up with my team, and I don't even know them yet!!

I wish all the teams the best!!

And BD26 HR2.... Great job and enjoy!!

Wonderful Sunday.. TheRace Semi-final

Okay..Updating 3 days event in 1 day is tiring.. :-D

Well, I was on time for the semi final day :)
Had McD's breakfast after the set up though :)

For the semi final, the obstacle course was something like martial arts, where opponents have to hit each other 5 times within 3 minutes with a 'soft stick'. 3 match for 2 teams to compete.

For the 2nd elimination round, we eliminated 28 teams from the total of 56 teams that were qualified from the 1st elimination round.
For the semi final, we chose 14 finalists from the 28 teams.
Since there's another space for the finalists as we had allocated 15 finalists, the best of the losers of the semi final.

The game was fun! Awesome! and PAINFUL!!
As they are supposed to hit their opponent, all of us were able to the from the contestants' eyes saying "I want to kill you! I hate you! Must hit and kill you!" The expression from their eyes, not face tells us all.
Some of the contestant hit so hard that their opponent got bruises, bleed etc.
Scary, but cool and fun!!
Unforgettable day.

Halfway through the event, I was supposed to go to the 'mamak' near college to collect the food for crew, which is fried rice.
It was raining heavily when i walked to my car which is quite far from college.
Although I had my umbrella, the rain was too heavy, that I was all wet, especially my shoes..all WET!!
Worst thing is that, after collecting the food, it was drizzling.
The rain fooled me :(

Back to TheRace..
15 finalists were chosen already, and their race will start on 2nd October at 9.00a.m. from TCHT and end of 3rd October at unknown time at Sunway Lagoon!!!
Good luck to all the 15 finalists!!

Oh, btw, as the 15 finalists were chosen, they are the best of the best teams, and they are STRONG!! As 1 of the team marshals who will follow the contestants throughout their race, woohoo!!!!! I'm so excited!!! Hahhaha...

Anyway, here's some pictures..

While waiting for Valerie at the parking area

The 'ring' for the match

Robin (crew) and Hilal (contestant)

From left: Pertina, Melissa, Valerie and Tai Wen

The contestants were concentrating on Peter's briefing

Ready!!

Set!!
HIT!!!

The day ended at about 5.00p.m.
Well, lets wish every one of them all the best!

Owh, I'm uploading videos on my facebook, but the connection's really bad.
And not forgetting pictures too!

Wonderful Saturday.. TheRace 1st Elimination round

As the title said, yes!! My group's event TheRace's elimination round was on Saturday, 26th September 2009.
As '99%' of the contestants are to arrive at 9.00a.m., all the crews are to set up the elimination round obstacle course before 9.00a.m.
Therefore, all crews were reminded on Friday to arrive at college at 6.30a.m. to set up the obstacle courses. Well, I was about 5 minutes late? Heheh..cz i only left the house at 6.05a.m.

Although set up was kind of messy, but we made it at last at 8.30a.m.

First obstacle course:
3 legged race - RUN - Wheelbarrow - RUN - Balancing a bottle of water on a beverage tray - RUN - Piggy back - RUN - Water balloons - RUN - Crawl up the down the stairs - RUN - Find your way through the maze - RUN - RUN up the stairs from G floor to 2nd floor - RUN - Crawl below a stick - RUN -RUN down the stairs to G floor - END!!

Second obstacle course:
Go through 14 tyres - Dunk a ball - Go through a skipping rope - Leap frog - "Mario's (crew) hometown game (getting a pen into a bottle without looking, directed by another team mate) - END!!

Well, during the elimination round, I was the station master for the tyres. I thought it would be easy, BUT...I kinda would have heart attack because some of the contestants fell, shoes came off and all.
Some contestants' feet are huge, they kinda have problem, and trip on the tyres.
Looking at their feet kinda twisted here and there is OWH!!!!!! Hahah..

TheRace's Crews are having a tour on the obstacle course. This is the maze.

Peter explaining the leap frog to all crews

From Left: Yuliana, Beverly, me, So Eun, Phei Ching, Melissa and Bobby

Thanks for supporting! I support you all too Saha, Christine, Helena, Tracy, Juan, and Rina!

These are my Kajang friends who participated in TheRace
From Left: Saha, Christine, Rina, and Juan.

This is the "Mario's hometown game". Team work is needed!!

We, the crews of TheRace were dismissed at 5.00p.m., and I headed to my uncle's house in OUG as dinner would be there.
Only got back to Kajang home at 12.30a.m. again.
And the next day, it's 7.00a.m. for the 2nd elimination round.

p/s: More photos to be uploaded in Facebook :) Thank you!

Wonderful Friday..

Again, I don't really know how to start because too many events happened from Friday till Sunday..

I'll make it as short as possible, if I'm able to :)

Well, Friday morning, all the H.O.D.s and Asst of TheRace hold a meeting from 11a.m. till 1p.m., den all crews meeting from 1.30p.m. till 2.30p.m.
Then!! Logistics!! Jaya, Robin and me had to go to S.M.S.U. to get the netball hoop and also other equipments.
Sitting in the lorry was terrible as there were for people in the lorry, and the space was so small. Had to squeeze ourselves so much, where Robin sat like a girl then..

After that, badminton session with Dennis, Valerie, Max, and Phei Ching. Fun though. Phei Ching and me wanted to exercise more as we're the team marshals for TheRace finale..
Then!! Had dinner with them also. Ipoh chicken rice was cool :-D

Then!! Went home, and rushed to Azaad's house with Angeline and Jessie to meet up with Azaad, Adib, Geetha, Hannah, Neo, Kartene, and Christine.
We chatted and played some games, and it all lasted till about 12 midnight for me.. Only got home at about 12.30a.m. and yea, my mom nagged me because I have to reach at college by 6.30a.m. on Saturday, and I'm home so late.

but Hey!! It was fun okay, the gathering with my high school classmates!!

Next post is for the Elimination rounds of TheRace!!

Tough time

My dissertation is giving me a really tough time..

I need someone to support me
I need someone to push me
I need someone to accompany me
I need someone to lend his shoulder to me
I need to concentrate on my dissertation....
I need to get him out of my mind!

I got to be strong!
Stronger than I am now!

"Close the book and start again..." Lift, by Shannon Noll

Why is it so difficult to close 'this book'?

Complicated?

I'm on holidays for 2 weeks...

Ask me out! Ask me out!
LOL...

Why nobody ask me out for a date one? Hmmm??...

Trying to forget the past,
Trying to move on,
Trying to be happy,
Trying to be cheerful,
Trying to know more people,
Trying to get closer with them,
Trying to get him out of my mind.....

But I couldn't...
Kept telling myself to just let things be,
and it will be gone some day..

One day, it'll fade,
One day, I'll really move on,
One day, I'll be looking back,
It's the memories already now,
That I'm still thinking of..
That cannot turn to reality anymore..

But...

The feelings have not faded,
Neither did i move on.


"Never hope too much..just let it be.."
That's what I've been reminding myself constantly.
But I always hope, and hope, and hope.....

The Race

Have any of you seen this?

or this?

It's TheRace!!
Organized by a young, energetic and agile crew formed by 38 members from BD26, HR2.

THE RACE
Date of Event:
1. Elimination Round: 26th & 27th September 2009
2. The Race Finale: 2nd & 3rd October 2009

The Race Concept:
The Amazing Race Asia

Winner Prizes:
Champion: RM2,000 cash & RM2,000 worth of products
1st Runner up: RM1,000 cash & Rm1,500 worth of products
2nd Runner up: RM 800 & RM 500 worth of products
There are prizes to be given out for winners of elimination round as well.

The Race Contestants:
Participation is open to all students in Malaysia. Those who are studying in any uni or colleges, and also students (form 4 & 5) are to join THE RACE as a team of 2.
Participation fee is RM50/individual, therefore, it is RM100/team.

What's in the Contestant Kits of RM50?
- Entitled to elimination round.
- Entitled to finale if qualified the elimination round
- Sunway Lagoon ALL PARK ticket worth RM90
- THE RACE t-shirt
- Air sticks
- THE RACE Wristband
- Goodies and vouchers from various sponsors

THE RACE Elimination Round:
It will be held in Taylor's PJ.
Contestants are required to go through the obstacle course.
The teams with the fastest time will be qualified for the next elimination round.

THE RACE Finale Overview:
The 15 teams will start The Race at Taylor's PJ, racing against time with other teams to complete tasks before encing the first race day.
Teams will spend a night in a hotel in Kuala Lumpur, with the first team to arrive at the pit stop getting a head start on the next day.
The teams will complete few tasks before crossing the finish line where a series of entertainment and a prize giving ceremony will be held.
The final point is Sunway Lagoon.

Hence, for those who could not participate as contestant, we are selling Supporters' Kit.

Supporter Kit A at RM30:
- THE RACE t-shirt
- Air sticks
- THE RACE wrist band
- Goodies and vouchers from our sponsors

Supporter Kit B at RM45:
- Sunway Lagoon ticket to dry and wet theme park (worth RM60)
- THE RACE t-shirt
- Air sticks
- THE RACE wrist band
- Goodies and vouchers from our sponsors

For more information, please contact the numbers on the posters, or even me.
For any purchases, please do contact me as well :)

Thank you!!

Please support THE RACE!
As it's not easy to enter The Amazing Race Asia or etc, this is your chance to participate in TheRace to get an experience on it.

Interruption..

It's been a long time since I last blog.
And I don't even know where to start.
Should I blog about my event? My life? My studies?

Well, let's talk about my event.

TheRace Taylors... sounded good, sounded very 'big', promoted to a lot of people, but the responds from them were bad..as in really bad.

TheRace Taylors is actually organized by me and my group mates (Degree in Hotel Management final sem) as it is required by one of the subjects that we're taking.
We can either organize a forum, competition, or an exhibition.
But we chose competition, and came out with something that's similar to Amazing Race.
The routes, activities, obstacle courses were all organized quite well I would say.
The marketing, PR, and everything else was quite well too.
Been through tough times and all though..
But some people just like to interrupt our event.

Eventually, from the beginning of our event, we wanted the participants to be students from any colleges.
BUT, some people said no, and so, we would have to only concentrate on TAYLORIANS and include high school KIDS as well, and BRING FORWARD the event.
Having few road shows for 3 weeks in all of the Taylor's campuses made us realised that Taylorians are not very into this event although the activities involved and the prizes to be given out is superb. Hey! The activities that 1 need to go through cost about RM300! And some of it, they might not have tried it before. But still, they're not interested.

Well, the dateline for participants to sign up is 23rd September 2009, and only 2/3 weeks before the dateline, we open to students from other colleges and high school
There are some who are interested and some are not.
Some people are just very 'cocky' even when we're distributing the flyers. Annoying!!
This happened in one of the Taylor's campus that we went..GRRRRR...
Some just say yes and well, no reply from them.

Well, everything's too late now.
The contestants, and suppporters..
And there's no back up plan.
And elimination round is on 26th and 27th September.

My wish for now is to get my friends and other strangers to respond to TheRace.
Next post..
Well, let's promote for TheRace although I know not many people is reading it.

Below are some pictures taken on Thursday.
Well, we were preparing the package to be given out to the contestant.

First step: PC Gamer Magazines

We are to prepare 280 contestant kits. This is less than half of it i think..

2nd step: Brochures & flyers from various sponsors
3rd step: Goodies from Rexona, Shokubutsu, and Fresh n White.

4th step: TheRace wrist band and air sticks
5th & 6th step: Goodies from Freeman and Body Shop

7th step: Arranging and counting the contestant kit. T-shirt not included yet.

Contestant Kits!! And some of the crew members..

Some of the people involved in the packaging

It was a fun and tiring day coz some of us had presentation at 9.00a.m., then class till 12.30p.m.
Then, distributed some flyers to other colleges, and back to college for the packagin.
I myself reached home at 10.00p.m., after having 'bak kut teh' with some of my classmates.
It's fun because there's team work. We did everything together, laughed and joked around.

Flooded..

Flooded with assignments now.
Economics especially.. Tourism Economics.. Macroeconomics..
I prefer Microeconomics :(
Complicated subject..
Then, dissertation as well.

Will update you guys on TheRace Taylor's Road show..
And badminton..
And activities and trips with my fellow friends..

Those updates will be updated soon... SOON, I hope..

Really need to do my dissertation..

Here's some pictures of the road show though..

28th Aug 2009, TheRace Taylor's Road show at Taylor's Subang.
Phei Ching, Pei Lin, Ruiqi, Beverly, Valerie, and me..

Tai Wen looks so pervert..

Just a plan..

Few weeks ago..
When I was thinking about dad's birthday..
When I was thinking that dad's birthday falls on 26th August..

Few weeks ago..
When I was still so cheerful..
When I was still 'flying' around..

Few weeks ago..
I planned..
Planned for dad's birthday..
Planned to have dinner with my family..
Planned to invite some other people for the dinner..
Planned to have a memorable dinner with my family and the 'other' people..

But it stopped..
It will not work out because...

It was just a plan..

That didn't work out after all..

Sir-mart..

Driving on North South highway back to Kajang today..

Reached the Sungai Besi toll...

Saw a car driving to the 'Smart Tag' lane...

Then!!!

Saw his hand sticking out of the car and holding a 'Touch N Go' card, trying to beep it.. BUT

He couldn't reach...

Well, it's not about him not being able to to beep his 'Touch N Go' card, but it's about him going to the wrong lane.. Hehehe..

Wednesday fun with FHM

Well well..
Yesterday, i went to KLCC for the FHM along with Dennis, Valerie and Joanne. The journey there was full of excitement, laughter, and embarrassment.
Well, mostly, it was because Dennis drove, and Joanne SUPPOSED to know the road around KLCC, Jalan Bukit Bintang and all, but well, we're kinda blur on the road.

Joanne brought us to Jalan Bukit Bintang for 'Char Siu, Siu Yuk Fan' (Caramelized pork and roast pork with rice?). But since we reached there when the shop's almost closed, they only have 'Char Siu, Pak Cham Kai Fan' (Caramelized pork, and steamed chicken with rice).
The 'Char Siu' was damn delicious...including the fat :) I only remember to take picture halfway through the meal.. Hey! It was 2.30 and we were all very hungry..


After lunch, we head to KLCC for the FHM thingy to support Yen Ning, our classmate since Diploma. She took part in the Mocktail Competition.

From left: Ming Guan, Dennis, Joanne, Valerie, Yen Ning, me..

Yen Ning preparing for her turn..

Taylorians supporting Yen Ning..
It's Ming Guan's turn on Thursday, for Cocktail..

Blushing Maiden, created by Lai Yen Ning

Yen Ning's video shall be posted on my Facebook soon, as well as some other pictures.
After watching Yen Ning, we walked around to see Jian Shen's wedding cake, and some others. Below are some of the pictures:

Jian Shen's creation. He won a silver!
I'm not really close to Jian Shen, but well, my wedding cake in the future by Jian Shen?
I want ok.. :) But of course, it won't be F.O.C. I'll still pay okay?

Then, there's other cakes and sugar and chocolate art..
Kinda lazy to upload here, so, yea, Facebook will do. But here's 1 which really attracted me..

It's very detail and adorable..

I wish I could take pictures of almost everything there? But nah, gotta go back to college, avoid the jam.

Had dinner with Dennis and Valerie, and headed back to Kajang at around 8.30p.m. I went straight to the doctor BECAUSE I thought I was having fever, but nope, only nose block and doctor said no fever. Gotta rest more though.

That's all for now I think.. :)

Presentation..

Done with Economics - Trend Analysis of Japan presentation today. Lecturer's comment was 'average' and 'above average', for some part, here and there. She also commented that we did not have the charismatic for presentation.. Well, yea, we were kinda laughing at times while presenting. Couldn't help it, especially when Tai Wen accidentally scrolled the slides too fast to the last slide.
To be honest, I was quite satisfied with the presentation today because although we kinda prepared it last minute, all of us did our job by reading relevant articles related to Japan. Besides that, we were able to answer questions posted by our fellow classmates and lecturer, which was cool =)

Yesterday, as usual when I had b'fast with Shamus (college mate), we talked bout our feet. I was having itchy feet yesterday and he talked about while driving, he had cramped on his leg. That's bad.. I've never experienced it before. I mean I do have cramp, but not while driving.

BUT...while driving back today, my right leg suddenly cramp. To be exact, it's my right foot. I often have cramps on my toes, but not while driving.. Damn bloody pain!!
I couldn't stop my car though, so just 'tahan' the pain. Luckily it only happened near my house.

DISSERTATION!!

Goodness.. I got to really start my dissertation now. Read more articles and journals. I need someone to motivate me, someone to push me to read it though.
Where are you?

Any updates about the Influenza A(H1N1) in TCHT? Well, there was 1 student who was done with it last Friday, and today, they said that there are 2 person who got infected. Is it true?
Well, let Taylor's update us..

Motivation..

Well, if you guys have my Friendster, like years ago, you guys would know that this is not the first time I'm blogging. Yea, and it's been 2 years, or almost 3 years since I last blogged.

I will say that I'm not really good in writing, but I don't think I will care.

What motivates me to blog again?
I would say it's my feelings. I just feel like writing.
Nah, not in a diary where pens and papers are needed. Lazy, i guess.. It's just an excuse :)

About today..
I guess everyone knows that it rained 'splashily' (the rain was extremely heavy okay!) this evening. As usual, I drove from college back to Kajang alone and hell yea, I can barely see the road properly because my windscreen tends to get really blur when it rains. At that time, I was really scared, not only because of driving in the rain, but because of the thunder, lightning, and the puddles of water on the road.

I used the road that I don't usually take. I was thinking of someone then. I was thinking, should I message this person?

Guess what?

I did not. I'm afraid that this person will not reply my message. I'm afraid that this person will hate me, although he/she might already hate me. I'm afraid of this and that, which pulls me back from messaging that person.

I do realise that I'm always afraid of something, whether it's my actions, or words, or what I agree or disagree with or any other thing. I do want to scrape this feelings away. I've been trying and still trying. I never give up on myself.
Yes, sometimes, I do things that I want by myself and all, but it's just not enough.
I wonder...how long more will it take?
I'm already 21..Hmmm..

Kinda emo for first post?
hahah.. Well, i told you, it's my feelings that motivated me.. Stay tuned peeps..